Why people should refrain from kissing until married

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

I know a Christian couple who did not kiss until they were married.
Their marriage is better than most.

If you refrain from kissing, you will also refrain from doing other things.
If you kiss, you will get tempted to first touch the person with your hands, and then perhaps try to use your mouth to follow your hands.

There are girls who would foolishly try to set “limits” on how much of their body they would use to please themselves with a guy, before marriage.   If that’s your practice before marriage, your marriage will be difficult.

Before you get married, that’s the time you should practice in being faithful to God, and not indulge in your affections for one another.   When you have to choose between your affection for God’s holiness, and your affection for another person,  that’s when you need to choose your affection for God.   Because, even after you get married, you will also have to make such choices.

Explanation:
You are a girl (or, you are a guy) and you are not yet married to this person.
You know that God’s standard for adultery is: merely thinking about having sex with someone, that is adultery.
You know that kissing would lead to such thoughts.
So, you have to choose between:

• affection for God, which necessitates you remain holy, with God as priority
• affection for pleasing yourself, or affection for the other person (perhaps that’s used as excuse),  with yourself as priority.
  (you know that people whose priority is pleasing themselves, that’s the criteria for going to hell.    The criteria for going to heaven, is people whose priority is pleasing God.)

And perhaps you tell yourself, “I am not married to this person, but I feel lonely, and would like to get some affection for myself, from a person.”

And your affection for God is the only thing standing between you and such an action.

And suppose that you put aside your affection for God (and put aside your living-with-God-as-priority), and put pleasing-yourself as the priority, and go obtain some affection from the person.

Perhaps you imagine (girls imagine that, perhaps guys as well) that your mutual affection and/or mutual attraction is so strong that it will endure forever.   And you put your trust and your safety in your people-people mutual affection,  and/or mutual attraction.

So before marriage, these things are between you and the other person:

• affection for God (and consequently, Christian love for one another)
• mutual affection of person-person  (let’s call it friendship)
• mutual attraction of person-person

Then you are married.

After people get married, these things will happen:
no matter how attractive you are, you will get used to one another, like clothing that seems so original when you first get it, but after a year, you are totally habituated to having it, and it’s not anything noticeable anymore.
So, after about a year of marriage (maybe even earlier), no matter how attractive people were (and even with exactly the same faces), each person will be plain to the other person.
And anyone else who is not plain, will seem more attractive than your married person.  (this is what I suppose, having never been married)

So as far as marriage is concerned, you are just as well marrying a pretty person as a plain person, because the prettiest person will seem plain after many day-to-day familiarity.    So you really should look for person-quality, not for outward appearances (a great mistake that many people make).   In marriage, you should have long-term planning for many years, not short-term planning for a few months.

So, after you are married (after some months or a year), these things are between you and the other person:

• affection for God (and consequently, Christian love for one another)
• mutual affection of person-person  (let’s call it friendship)

Then the devil will cause to happen some argument between you and the other person.   It will certainly happen at some time or other.   And your friendship will temporarily diminish.    On some days, you will not have affection (or not much affection) for the other person, and moreover, you will feel lonely, and in need of some affection from a person.

So after you are married, on some days, you will only have this between you and the other person:

• affection for God (and consequently, Christian love for one another)

Your affection for God, is also how much you would care for the other person, even if the other person is, or seems, uncaring towards you.   Because this is the character of God, to be thoughtful towards a person even if a person is uncaring towards God.    This is called ἀγάπη (pronounced aga-pei, Greek word for higher-love, I Corinthians 13, in the English of 1611, “higher-love” is written as “charity”.   However the English-speakers have fallen from the high faith of earlier Protestants, so “charity” became only practiced in giving donations to the poor, but no longer towards people in daily life.   The very meaning became forgotten.)

If you have much affection for God, then you would also have much affection for holiness.  You would live life not to please yourself, but to please God (the criteria of people going to heaven).   Consequently, you will hold your covenant (New Testament) with God in matters of holiness, and you will also hold your marriage covenant.

If you only get married to provide comfort for yourself, then when you lack affection from the other person (it will happen on some days), then you will switch to your usual habit of living life to please yourself, and not to please God.

Suppose then, that such a day happens when you have an argument with the other person, or both of you merely seems uninteresting to one-another due to familiarity (thus, there is no more the thrill of finding the other person exciting), or the other person is elsewhere temporarily,  and you feel lonely.
And you know some other person has been interested in you.
Or, you wish for the flattery of some person being thrilled in thinking you are exciting.

And you have the choice of try to find affection from someone else already interested in you, or, you have the choice of trying to create/provoke attraction in someone else, perhaps only to get yourself momentarily flattered (which is really an excuse from Satan).

And perhaps you tell yourself, “I am not married to this person, but I feel lonely, and would like to get some affection for myself, from a person.”

And your affection for God is the only thing standing between you and such an action.

What is your choice?
Do you set your affection on God, deny yourself, and remain true to your covenant?
Or do you set your affection on yourself, deny God, and live life to please yourself?

That depends on

1. how much you have been maintaining affection for God.Many Christian couples submit to Disney as false teacher and pagan teacher, they think marriage = guaranteed happiness, and put away Jesus Christ as priority, and start to put their own selves as priority.After you get married, if you stop praying an hour a day (especially declaring to God sincerely in the morning: Lord Jesus, today I live life to please God and not to please myself), if you stop memorizing the Bible everyday with the goal of memorizing it all in a few years, then you have ceased to live with God as priority.    And you will lose affection for God, along with losing your ability to love other people (especially your married person).    Your love for God’s holiness is proportional also with your ability to maintain love for other people.    Also, to memorize the Bible and pray everyday (put your heart/mind near to Christ) is the only way you maintain the ability to love people who are hostile to you, as would probably happen in any marriage.
2. whether you have made such a decision previously in life.Before each person’s marriage, there is such a choice, as previously described.   You have the choice of setting your affection on God and not try to get affection from a person whom you aren’t married with,  or you have the choice of setting God aside, and go get affection from such a person.Before you were married, such a person is the person-you-haven’t-yet-married.
   After you get married, there will be such choices again, only with people outside the marriage.If before you were married, you did not practice saying no to yourself, then after you are married, you will have more difficulty maintaining your marriage, because you will have the same situations.

And God is very serious about marriage.  In fact, God uses that as criteria to see whether people are qualified for heaven, how faithful you are with your wife, (or if you are a girl, how faithful you are with your husband).

For this reason, knowing that you will face more terrible choices after marriage, people need to practice denying themselves before marriage, and not kiss.

Remember to maintain the excellent (and necessary) habit of memorizing the Bible, have the objective of memorizing it all in a few years.   All Early Christians (the best) memorized the Bible.  Timothy memorized all the Scriptures when he was a child.   All the Hebrew boys memorized all the Scriptures at a young age, during the Old Testament times.   This is why God starts the Proverbs (Proverbs 2 and 3) with commands to memorize all the Word of God.

(some other Eastern religion keeps this tradition, which they copied from the Hebrews.    They can memorize about the length of the New Testament within a year or two.   The Christians everywhere ought to be ashamed to not catch up, first memorize the New Testament, then the Old)

If you are English speaker, king james version (KJV) is the most correct translation of Scriptures in English (available).   
The other ones: NKJV, NIV, NASB, NLT, “the Message” are all false gospels, a different god.

If you are Chinese speaker, the He He Ben 和合本 is the most correct translation of Scriptures in Chinese (that I know of), except Acts 17:1 has a wrong transliteration for Amphipolis.

With any language, the most word-by-word translation, from original Hebrew and ancient Greek, is the best.

You need to keep memorizing the Bible, before marriage, and after marriage.    That’s how you prepare for marriage, that’s how you maintain a marriage.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another …
Colossians 3:12-16   (one of the best parts of the New Testament)

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abides in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.
John 15:4-6

Abide means to remain.
Christ is all the words of the Bible (in a correctly translated Bible), not the language-words, but their meanings (which can be written in many languages, but the meaning is the same, that’s the Word of God.  – as you advance in understanding of God, you’ll realize that the Bible is merely the garment of Christ, or the flesh of Christ.   However, first memorize the entire New Testament, praying according to the prayer examples in the Epistles, and God will give you to understand).

If you memorize the words of the Bible, some Christ abides in you (it may not be sturdy, if you don’t memorize much, or if you slacken in diligence and forget what you memorized).
If you memorize and remember all the Bible, all of Christ abides in you.
Pray with a sincere heart with the prayer examples in the New Testament (and some of the Psalms, excluding the angry parts; best Psalm is Psalm 119), and be diligent to follow the instructions in the Bible (if your life is filthy, or if your heart is filthy, then God refuses to hear your prayers  Proverbs 28:9), if you are diligent to memorize, to pray, and to follow God’s instructions, if you are diligent to live life to please God and not yourself, then you will also abide (remain) in Christ.

And that’s also how you maintain a marriage.
But whosoever live life to please themselves, they will have great difficulty in marriage, in life, in everything.