A guide to Christian marriage
Marriage is held together by a stance of the heart, a spiritual stance of sincere love and caring for the other person. It is called αγάπη in the Word of God. Translated into the English language of 1611, it’s called “charity”, except the English language nowadays has regressed much in meaning, and the modern meaning of the word “charity”, in common speech, is really a small portion of the meaning in 1611.
However, the 1611 edition of the English-language Bible (which, as far as I know, is the most accurate translation of the Word of God in English language), also called king James version (KJV), still remembers the meaning of charity. It is defined in I Corinthians 13:4-8 (I personally haven’t yet understood the meaning of I Corinthians 13:7)
How is charity maintained as a trait in a person’s life?
This is how marriage is held together, and prospering.
Charity is the substance of God. Charity is the essence of God/Christ. Whoever would approach God in character and virtues the most (and is diligent to seek that everyday), that person’s very substance would more and more resemble charity.
This is done through memorizing the Bible (the entire Bible), remembering what was memorized and living accordingly, pursuing after holiness, keeping a pure heart (in marriage, the two persons are one body, so the heart is pure. The heart is not pure if it covets after other people).
Charity is a trait of the life in the Spirit (the Holy Spirit, Spirit of Christ).
There is also life in the flesh, which consists of: self-exaltation, covetousness, lust (and in marriage, this would mean desiring other people other than the spouse).
Put it simply, if people live in the flesh, they will lack charity.
If people are diligent to crucify their flesh, and memorize the Word of God, and live in Spirit and truth, they will have charity and abound in it.
Diligence is measured by this: if you haven’t yet memorized (and remember) the entire Bible, you should be memorizing the Bible everyday. If not, then you are not diligent.
If married people are not diligent to pursue their spiritual life in Christ, then
Marriage is not held together by any type of activities: especially, pleasure does not hold it together. Entertainment does not hold it together. No type of counseling hold it together (nearly all counseling is based on Psychology, which is a doctrine of life-in-the-flesh. So those who go to marriage counseling would get taught to live in the flesh, which makes the marriage problems worse).
Marriage lasts a lifetime if both people memorize the Word of God, and live accordingly. That holds it together.
And considering that all Christians’ objective is to resemble Christ more and more (essentially, losing their individual fleshly person, and making their hearts/minds/souls become more and more identical to how Christ would think/feel, thus all Christians’ objective are to become the same, or similar person), if you are a Christian, when choosing a possible marriage-person, the outward characteristics (body, even personality) is not important compared to how well-practiced is the person in the trait of charity, and spiritual conformity to God/Christ.
It’s not about how much Biblical knowledge, or whether the person has title in a church, or has a pastor in the family.
Knowledge puffs up (makes a person arrogant) but charity edifies.
I Corinthians 8:1
And also, in this day and age, people with title in church or pastors in the family, are not necessarily godly. The Word of God teaches that nearness to God is accomplished through putting away the flesh, and following the instructions in the Bible and growing in virtue. It is not accomplished through gaining titles in a church, or having a pastor as relative.
The memorization of Word of God and following the instructions thereof, with a pure heart, saves all the time (and other expenses, and disappointments) in counseling seminars, or books about marriage, or seeking someone else (whether in images, or in real life), which is a repeat of the same thing, since what works is the edifying in spiritual traits, not anything else.